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Welcome to Declassified, a weekly column wanting on the lighter facet of politics.
Yours for simply $100, a “President Donald J. Trump Defeats COVID” commemorative coin, on sale now on the White Home reward store.
The cash will not be prepared till mid-November, however they have been marketed on the market earlier than Trump had left Walter Reed Hospital and proven the world that it is really easy to beat coronavirus that even a clinically overweight pensioner who eats McDonald’s and appears like he’d get out of breath grating cheese can do it.
The design is being “deliberately hid” (appears like code for “not completed but”) till the cash are prepared however how’s this for a advertising message (punctuation and hyperbole very a lot coin designer Tony Giannini’s personal): “President Trump’s vitality fills not merely a room, not merely a stadium, however fills — extra like occupies — a mythological area in our fashionable, post-modern, or no matter we name this New Period during which we dwell, maybe, let’s name it the Publish-COVID Period.”
There’s extra of this guff: “President Trump’s defeat of COVID is iconic, common, heroic, for, certainly, in motion, President Trump embraced experimental approaches for which he has been derided by anti-Trump media retailers reminiscent of CNN. Prefer it or not, President Donald J. Trump is powerful to a mythic degree.”
I am positive the households of the 210,000 (and counting) Individuals who’ve died from the virus will likely be speeding to purchase the cash.
On Trump’s return to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, he appeared on the White Home balcony to wave and take away his (very a lot nonetheless wanted) face masks, in what was (to steal a line from the Guardian’s Marina Hyde) “essentially the most harmful balcony efficiency since Michael Jackson had his child crowdsurf off one.”
The balcony stunt prompted former Trump staffer Anthony Scaramucci to explain him because the “American Mussolini.”
In the meantime in Italy, an precise Mussolini (Benito’s granddaughter Alessandra) is in hospital after a nasty fall whereas in rehearsals for the TV present “Ballando con le stelle” (the Italian model of “Dancing with the celebs”).
The previous MP suffered “a extreme nosebleed,” her supervisor introduced.
Mussolini was little question searching for one thing to do after shedding her seat within the European Parliament final yr. The EU election came about simply weeks after Mussolini engaged in a Twitter spat with bendy-faced actor Jim Carrey, calling him a “bastard” after he posted a cartoon depicting how Benito Mussolini’s physique was hung the other way up in public after his loss of life. Then late final yr, she engaged in a spat with followers of Scottish soccer membership Celtic after they unfurled a banner of the fascist dictator being hung the other way up throughout Italian group Lazio’s go to to Glasgow.
“We have discovered no mind operate in any respect, so the excellent news is that the president has made a full restoration.”
Final week we gave you this photograph:
Thanks for all of the entries. Right here’s the very best from our postbag (there’s no prize aside from the reward of laughter, which I believe we are able to all agree is much extra beneficial than money or booze).
“Please hand me the thermometer so I can examine his physique temperature,” by Bastiaan Deconinck.
Paul Dallison is POLITICO‘s slot information editor.